Habit 3 - Put First Things First

Grab your journal and your The LOTUS Within book and get after the seven habits. Let’s now go to Habit 3: Put First Things First – Big Rocks, Little Rocks.

We’ve all heard the saying “don’t sweat the small stuff,” but when it comes to time management and prioritization, it’s crucial to understand the difference between the "big rocks" and "little rocks" in our lives. This metaphor, introduced in Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, refers to the idea that in order to achieve fulfillment and success, we need to first focus on the things that matter most – the big rocks – before filling our lives with smaller, less important tasks – the little rocks.

When planning your life, including your passion, career, family, and personal growth, knowing what your big rocks are helps you identify your top priorities and long-term goals. These are the core elements of your life that bring you the most joy, satisfaction, and purpose. The little rocks, on the other hand, are the day-to-day tasks and activities that fill your time but aren’t as crucial to your long-term happiness or success.

Identifying Your Big Rocks: Clarify Your Priorities

Your big rocks are the things that truly matter to you. These are the goals and values you want to pursue in your life, whether that’s your career, family, education, or personal passions. They serve as the foundation for your long-term success and fulfillment. To start identifying your big rocks, ask yourself:

• What are my long-term goals and aspirations?

• What do I want my legacy to be?

• What are the most important relationships and passions in my life?

• What values do I want to live by?

  
  

For me, one of my big rocks is my career and success—whether that’s in the military or after my retirement, as a civilian. I realized that to do what I want in the education field, I needed a PhD. This wasn’t just a career ambition—it was part of a long-term vision that aligned with my passion for teaching and making a difference in the lives of others. Knowing this, I focused my time and efforts on earning the necessary degrees and skills to achieve this.

Similarly, you may identify your big rocks as your family, financial independence, or personal development. For instance, someone passionate about traveling might identify learning about other cultures as a big rock. Understanding these priorities ensures that you focus on what matters most, rather than getting distracted by the day-to-day tasks that can pull you in many different directions.

Understanding Your Little Rocks: Short-Term Goals and Tasks

Once you know your big rocks, it’s essential to identify your little rocks. These are the short-term goals, tasks, and activities that fill your life daily but don’t necessarily drive your long-term success or fulfillment. While they are necessary and important for day-to-day functioning, they are not as impactful in terms of your long-term happiness.

For example, in my career example, my little rocks were the steps I took to get to my big rock of earning a PhD. This included attending courses, submitting assignments, and meeting deadlines. Similarly, for someone interested in opening a bakery, their little rocks could include earning money in their current job, taking baking courses, and saving money for the future. While these tasks are necessary for reaching their ultimate goal, they are the smaller steps that help fill the gap between where they are now and where they want to be.

Balancing Big Rocks and Little Rocks: Prioritize with Purpose

To create balance and ensure you’re making progress toward your big rocks, it’s essential to put first things first. Schedule your big rocks before anything else. These are the priorities that will shape your future and bring you the most fulfillment. For example, if one of your big rocks is spending more time with family, make that a top priority by setting aside regular time for family activities or vacations.

After you’ve scheduled time for your big rocks, fill the remaining space with little rocks. These are the daily tasks that are important but not as critical in the long-term. While these tasks may seem urgent, they are often less meaningful than the big rocks and should be handled in the gaps between your more important priorities.

The key here is not to let the little rocks take over your life. If you focus too much on the little rocks first, you’ll run out of space for the big rocks. Imagine your life as a jar: If you fill it with small rocks first, the big rocks won’t fit. However, if you start with the big rocks, the little ones will fit into the spaces between, creating a balanced life.

Example of Big Rocks and Little Rocks in Action

Let’s say one of your big rocks is to become financially independent. To achieve this, your long-term goal might be to invest in real estate. Your little rocks, in this case, might include tasks like attending a financial planning seminar, reading books on investment strategies, and saving a certain amount of money each month. While these tasks are necessary, they are stepping stones to your bigger goal. By focusing on your big rock of financial independence, you’re making sure that your actions are aligned with your ultimate goal, rather than getting bogged down in short-term distractions.

Another example might be someone whose big rock is to build a career in the tech industry. Their little rocks might include taking coding classes, attending networking events, or applying for jobs. These short-term goals help move them toward their long-term vision, but they should always be aligned with the bigger picture of their career aspirations.

Conclusion: Achieving Balance and Fulfillment

To live a fulfilling and successful life, it’s essential to focus on your big rocks first and ensure that your actions are aligned with your long-term goals. Once you’ve identified your priorities, make sure to allocate time for them in your schedule and fill in the rest with the smaller tasks that support those goals. This proactive approach ensures that you’re living with purpose, not just reacting to the day-to-day demands of life. When you put first things first, you ensure that your life is aligned with your values and that you’re making progress toward your true passions and aspirations.

By focusing on your big rocks, you create a roadmap for success, one that’s deeply meaningful and rewarding, and allows you to achieve the balance you need to thrive.