Work-Life Balance

Amelia DS
Sep 21
3 min read

General McConville’s Guide to Real Work‑Life Balance

Grab your journal and your The LOTUS Within book (https://www.amazon.com/LOTUS-Within-Purpose-Ignite-Passion/dp/B0DDRDXB89 ). This week we are covering Work-Life Balance.

What does it truly mean to have a balanced life? For many, it’s a perpetual juggle. But when General James C. McConville—former Chief of Staff of the U.S. Army—says “family first, always,” it’s neither cliché nor compromise; it’s a leadership philosophy in action.

A Defining Moment of Clarity

Early in his career, McConville witnessed a captain denied leave to witness his child’s birth due to a training conflict—a moment he found deeply offensive and tragic. That event sparked a resolve: if he ever held authority, nobody under his command would experience such a heartbreaking choice again Task & Purpose+1.

This conviction guided both his leadership and personal life. McConville and his wife created a visual “work-life balance slide,” used intentionally to help rank life’s events—whether Army or personal—so that family never gets overlooked U.S. Army Task & Purpose.

Live by the Values You Teach

McConville exemplified his values: when his son returned from deployment, he refused to reschedule his meeting with the Secretary of Defense—even for a grand opportunity—unless it meant missing the moment. He told staff simply, “I can’t do it that day... unless he wants to come to Fort Stewart.” Task & Purpose

That story speaks volumes: balance isn’t idealism—it’s conviction, and it requires real, actionable boundaries.

Beyond the Individual: A Culture Shift

McConville’s philosophy wasn’t just personal—it informed Army-wide guidance. Leaders were taught to identify life events that matter most and permit soldiers to attend them—even if it means missing work—because those moments are what families remember, not the day they missed at the office U.S. Army+1.

This ethos was part of a broader “People First” strategy, repositioning families and the well-being of soldiers—not mission or readiness—as the Army’s highest priority AUSA+2AUSA+2.

Why Prioritizing Family Matters—Even in Demanding Fields

Emotional longevity – When one feels valued at home, emotional resilience strengthens, making them more present and effective at work.
Alignment of values – Saying “family first” and acting on it fosters trust, whether in a micro-community or large organization.
Prevention of regret – Family memories are finite, work can wait—but if you miss the birth, the recital, the return, those moments can’t be rehearsed.

Applying the "Family First, Always" Ethos to Everyday Life

Create your own balance criteria: Use a simple tool—like General McConville’s chart—to visualize what truly deserves your time.
Establish no-negotiable family commitments: Mark them on your calendar with bold boundaries—they matter.
Practice intentional presence: When you're home, be fully there; when you're at work, ensure you're efficient and focused.
Communicate consistently: Let those around you understand your boundaries and why they matter.

Journal Prompts: Cultivating Balance Mindfully

Reflect on a recent moment you missed because of work—what was it, and how did that feel? What might you do differently next time?
Where in your week can you build in a “family-first” buffer—no emails, no screens, just connection?
Have you ever stood by your priorities like McConville did—for instance, rescheduling something big to be present with family? What did you learn from that choice?

Balancing the demands of a driven life with the richness of meaningful relationships isn’t simple—but as General McConville shows us, it’s possible when we make the choice to place family intentionally at the center.

With warmth and presence,

Amelia Duran‑Stanton

Author of The LOTUS Within